HALLO’SCENES #4: “Trick and/or Treat”
You’re on the Home Stretch now, just two more “HALLO’SCENES: 5 Short, Scary Sketches for All Hallow’s Eve” to go! But while you’re reading, don’t forget to answer that Knock at the door — or suffer the fate of the heroine of Hallo’Scene #4 (rhyming was inadvertent!)…
“TRICK AND/OR TREAT”
Based On an Idea By Lane Langston
A wealthy and rather stuffy ELOISE GUGGENHEIM III sits in a chair, CENTER STAGE reading the society pages with a hauty looking monocle. The Butler, MORTON, stands next to her holding a tray of hors d’oeuvres from which Eloise occasionally munches.
There is a window, STAGE RIGHT, and next to it a COIN DISPLAY of apparent value hangs on the wall. Behind them, is a door where there is a KNOCK. The Butler crosses to door and opens it, revealing a group of masked and costumed kids holding large Trick or Treat bags.
KIDS: Trick or Treat!
Butler: If you please.
The Butler reaches to a nearby table for a bowl of candies and offers them condescendingly to the kids.
KIDS: Gee, thanks, mister!
The kids rush off. The Butler closes the door, brushing his hands off, as if having soiled them. Through all of this, Eloise has been watching with unusual interest.
ELOISE: Cute little tikes!
Butler: If you say so, Madam. Will there be anything more?
ELOISE: No thank you, Morton. In fact, I want you to take the rest of the night off. And thc cook and housekeeper as well.
Butler: (SURPRISED) But Madam, it is All Hallow’s Eve, if I may say. And each year you give us the night off, leaving the estate unguarded. And there are the late Mr. Guggenheim’s priceless coins.
ELOISE: Blast his coins, Morton. You can’t talk with coins.
Butler: (CONCERN) Those ghoulish little intruders will likely be back.
ELOISE: Oh, those little tikes shan’t bother me. I rather like them “tap, tap, tapping at my chamber door.” As one gets older and wealthier, Morton, one misses visitors. The simple communion of a few neighborhood urchins will wile away a lonely, old woman’s evening. (DISCLOSED TOO MUCH) lt’s quite alright, Morton, I will be fine.
MORTON: If Madam is quite sure. The house is locked up tight, save for the kitchen window as you requested.
The Butler crosses to STAGE RIGHT and EXITS.
Eloise RISES and begins pacing lightly to and fro, clearly enjoying the idea of a night all to herself. There is another KNOCK at the door. She goes to it, the bowl of candies in her hand. She opens the door to a different band of kids who ad lib “Trick or Treats.”
ELOISE: There, there, you little ghosts and goblins! Here you are!
The kids take their treats, bid thanks, and rush off. Eloise closes the door, taking a deep breath.
ELOISE: Oh, how perfectly delightful! Those darling little devils. (PUZZLES) I wonder what mischievous little pranks they might play on me should I not give them a treat?
Before she can return to her chair, there is another KNOCK. Eloise tip toes to the door, the bowl of candies behind her back. She calls out cheerily.
ELOISE: Yoo hoo! Sorry; no treats for you this time, my little spooks! (A PAUSE, THEN A HARDER KNOCK) No, if it is “Trick or Treat,” then trick it will have to be! I am at your mercy, you little poltergeists!
A longer pause; a very LOUD KNOCK.
ELOISE: Persistent little poltergeists, aren’t they?
Eloise leans closer to the door, listening — nothing.
ELOISE: Perhaps I’ve hurt their little feelings! (TO DOOR) I’m coming, children, I’m coming — !
Eloise opens the door.
Outside is a MAN masked up to his eyes in black. He is raising a formidable KNIFE over his head for an imminent strike. Eloise SLAMS the door and throws her back against it. She stares out in disbelief.
ELOISE: (WEAKLY) Oh God— ! Help me — !
The KNOCK is heard again. Eloise jumps. Gathering her wits, she begins pulling various pieces of furniture into place against the door, finally throwing her slight weight against it. She breathes a sigh of exhaustion. Suddenly, a look of terror crosses her face.
ELOISE: The kitchen window! It — Is — Open!
She heads for the Kitchen, STAGE LEFT, and screams as the Man bolts from STAGE LEFT directly towards her, and tackles her. There is a scuffle, a FLASH of handcuffs, which CLINK shut. The Man drags Eloise and seats her in the chair at CENTER STAGE. Eloise tries to scream again; the Man roughly gags her with her scarf.
The Man picks up the knife dropped in the scuffle and approaches Eloise who is quivering with fear. He brandishes the knife menacingly in front of her, then moves slowly around her. He mischievously lets her hair down with his knife, caressing her gently with his gloved hands.
MAN: Now, lady, if you promise not to scream, you can say one last thing to me. It might be the last talking you do for quite a while.
Eloise nods her head vigorously. The Man unties the gag. Eloise stares at the man for several beats.
ELOISE: You are without a doubt the most exciting man I have ever met!
The Man smiles, bends down and kisses Eloise passionately. Then reties the gag, crosses the room to STAGE RIGHT and yanks the COIN COLLECTION down off the wall.
MAN: I’ll be done here in a little while. (FONDLES THE COINS) The insurance should pay off nicely on these.
Finished, the Man passes by Eloise who begins squirming again. He stops, removing her gag for one last kiss, then reties it. He goes to the window and steps out.
MAN: Goodnight. Until next Halloween.
The Man EXITS. Eloise swoons with delight.
CURTAIN.
